Hello

May 4th, 2009 @ 1:02 pm by zymetric

No, we aren’t actually gone, we’ve just moved over to twitter. And we think the three of you should follow @zymetrical for daily insights, occasional wit, zymetrical news, product announcements, sales & coupons, and more from the CEO and staff. Plus there is less self-deprecation.

We will continue to post here when warranted, but everything that can be posted in 140 characters or less wil…

  • Our 200th Post!
  • Blogging in 2009
  • Butt hole stickers?
  • Goodbye

    March 31st, 2009 @ 11:54 am by brian

    It has been a good run. Hell, nobody thought we would make it 10 months, less 10 years. 10 years. But we never thought we would get a ridiculous offer from a multi-national pharma either. Who knew all of the “zy” rx domain names were bought up? The suits said the only way the value could have increased would be if we had a “x” or “q” in it, but phonetically that wouldn’t have made sense. The z followed by a y is like the holy grail of prescriptions I was told. I have never sold a domain but the check seemed to confirm this. Admit it mom, you were wrong! “You cant build a company out of fake poop. ha. So wrong mom!

    And not by coincidence, this is also our 250th blog post. Fitting. See we have been forced to keep hush about this for weeks until the FDA approved the new medication which just happened last week. And since the suits wanted to shove this transaction under the rug by posting it on the last day of their quarter, today, we thought perfect. Well post it as an early april fools joke — nobody reads the blog anway.

    Anywho they want me to write that if anyone has placed an order in the last 24 hours or so and your order hasnt been pulled, or you are due any refund that hasnot been processed then you will receive a voucher for zymetrical blood pressure medicine within 14 days. This was actually one of the sticking points because we wanted to ensure all customers were taken care of. Much of our remaining inventory will be used to promote the lower blood pressure (laughter = lower pressure) the mock-ups look great, they will probably be doing a going out of business sale or something for the non-funny stuff. I dont know but someone will be avail. to answer emails until May 1st so that everything is settled up. I dont have spellcheck on here and I am a little tipsy, so sorry about that.

    - Sent from my blackberry

  • Goodbye George
  • Where we Stand on The Environment
  • Say What?
  • Howie Mandell discusses Liquid Ass with Howard Stern

    March 16th, 2009 @ 4:03 pm by zymetric

    Howie discussing his experience with liquid ass. NBC did in fact air the liquid ass prank.



  • Liquid Ass Surcharge
  • Liquid Ass Fart Spray
  • Liquid Ass on Howie Do It last night
  • What’s a dog to do

    March 9th, 2009 @ 11:33 am by zymetric

    To celebrate pico’s recent 15 seconds of fame, we sent a new batch of chickens out and here are the results. More in this flickr set:



  • Take your rubber chicken to work - finalists
  • Chickens, & Dogs, & Cats, Oh My
  • Dog + Rubber Chicken + Golden State Bridge = Digg
  • Beer Hat Caption Contest

    March 5th, 2009 @ 12:48 pm by zymetric

    How would you like to win a free beer drinkers hat?

    Update: Contest over, winners announced.

    Leave your wittiest caption in the comments (below). It is ok to leave more than one caption but only one will be counted, and they should each be left in a separate comment. Comments may not be posted immediately.

    kid wearing beer hat

    Rules & fine print:
    Contest ends 3/10/09. At that time we will pick the five funniest captions & request a mailing address from each. Limit one winner per household. Your email address will not be published, but must be valid so that we can contact you. Total prize for the each of the five grand prize winners valued at approximately $15 including shipping. All other losers will receive a discount coupon that can be used towards the purchase of a hat (or anything else we carry). This contest adheres strictly to our privacy policy. Zymetrical, Inc. reserves the right to moderate or delete any comment with excess vulgarity or language that is otherwise deemed offensive. Color and style of hat may vary.

    Don’t disappoint us.

  • Caption Contest Winners Announced
  • Clown Caption Contest
  • Caption Contest: Win a Free 22″ Rubber Chicken
  • Hey Everyone, Happy Personality Day

    March 5th, 2009 @ 11:54 am by zymetric

    This is also “National Procrastination Day”, we are going to do a post on that later in the week.

  • How to Talk Like A Pirate
  • Speaking of Whoopee Cushions
  • Orange County Choppers Update
  • Happy Multiple Personality Day!

    March 5th, 2009 @ 11:53 am by zymetric

  • Hey Everyone, Happy Personality Day
  • Happy April Fool’s Day
  • Happy April Fool’s Day!
  • 2010 Poop Calendar: sneek peek

    March 3rd, 2009 @ 2:59 pm by zymetric

    Yes its’ a bit early as these won’t go on sale til August, but the 2010 cover was just completed. This will be the 7th edition, and the funniest yet.

    Speaking of poop calendars, have we mentioned 2009’s are almost gone? Strict limit of 5 per customer.

    monthly doos 2010 cover

  • Photoshop Contest: Poop Frame
  • 2009 Poop Calendars, Now in Stock
  • Poop Calendars almost gone
  • If your phone can fart.. - Bill Maher (video)

    February 28th, 2009 @ 4:40 pm by zymetric

    Also seen on tv last night, Real Time’s Bill Maher rips into society, starting with the the iFart vs Pull my Finger court case.

    The whole bit is funny but this segment starts at 3minute mark, watch the whole tirade all the way until he gets into the snuggie.



  • Poop Calendars on the Tonight Show
  • Airing dirty laundry
  • Chinese Handcuffs on Bill Maher
  • Liquid Ass on Howie Do It last night

    February 28th, 2009 @ 4:24 pm by zymetric


    The infamous Liquid Ass Spray was featured in a sketch on Howie Do It last in last night’s epsiode on nbc. (Unable to embed but you can watch the video. Select chapter 3 — you may have to watch a short ad). That entire skit is a better testimonial than even Howard Stern could provide.

    liquid ass sintensity perfumeWhite gloves should have been the clue for the unsuspecting marks sitting in the audience.

    liquid ass reactionAn unhappy reaction after exboyfriend wipes it on her leg.

    peeee youuuHowie had this chick in tears.

    Unlike most perfumes, sintensity gets more potent after time. You can buy your own ass perfume here. (Pssst that discount link takes off an extra 17%, bringing it to $4.08).

  • Liquid Ass Surcharge
  • Liquid Ass Fart Spray
  • Howie Mandell discusses Liquid Ass with Howard Stern
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